My wife and I celebrated six years together this past Sunday. Last Friday, we hiked in Hocking Hills to commemorate the milestone. But, like most big days, we treated it as another day. I was picked at a little that we did not have anything on the day itself.

It caused me pause. It is so easy to get swept up in special days, to put in extra effort on those days, and yet the Monday after we go back to normal. What if, instead of making one day special, we do the best we can to make every day meaningful? Six years together is no more special than six years plus one day.

So, on Monday, I bought her flowers. Spent a little extra time telling her I loved her.

It is a reminder to me, even as I write this, that I cannot allow myself to be tempted to treat a single day as mundane. To not get so wrapped up in work or other things to take precedence over her or our family. Olga deserves the best I can give her, everyday.

All of life is like this.

My friends graduated from Seminary and they all had great parties and celebrations. It makes for a long weekend of joyful festivities. The service is on a Thursday, and the whole weekend is spent enjoying the climax of years of work. My sister graduated from undergrad and spent the weekend celebrating.

Then Monday rolls around. School is over. Everyone is back to work. And life keeps ticking on. So many things have changed in the life of the graduate, and yet so much simultaneously has not changed at all.

I have seen similar shifts happen in the lives of people who lose a loved one, especially a spouse. Everyone they love is at the calling hours and funeral. Their house is full in the days before and after the funeral, with loved ones making their comfort felt. But, soon, people must return to the lives they were living. Sorrow may still exist, but it must exist within the rhythms of life that stop for no event. And the spouse who still lives is left with the silence of their house, and the thoughts in their head.

What I believe matters more than making it a special one-day event is showing up on the Monday after. Marriage is built on the boring, normal days, not primarily the single events. Friendship is built between people who meet up well after the graduation ceremony, not just when it is time to throw the cap. And loving relationships are proven by, not necessarily who shows up to the funeral, but who is still calling months or years after to make sure the people who are most impacted are okay.

Intentionality is not just showing up on big days, but showing up every day.

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