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The best kind of friends

The best kind of friends
This past weekend has proven to me that there is one category of friendship that supersedes any other category — in-person friendship.
Seems obvious, I know. I have been on a journey to get to this conclusion. I started to take online writing seriously about a year ago now. I started writing this newsletter and started microblogging on the social media platform X. I call it microblogging because I have been very deliberate with what I post on the platform. I haven’t just posted any thought that comes to mind or just when I am on the toilet. I have been working to develop my writing ability with the hope that my ideas can be a positive influence to people I know and those I do not know.
In the past year, I have had nearly one hundred thousand people see my postings, with thousands of people clicking onto my page and engaging with the ideas presented.
From a pure numbers standpoint, it is hard for me to believe that I am getting those same number of eyeballs in the physical world. The ability of the digital sphere to cast a wide net and attract eyeballs from all over the world is unmatched.
Yet, when I launched a book, guess who gave me the most encouragement, who ordered the book, and I am sure will be giving me the most productive feedback.
It was those who physically knew me that supported me in this new endeavor the most, not my digital friends.
I was very intimidated to publish this book. I spent just as many days thinking negatively about the book and that it wasn't worth publishing as I spent writing it. My mind overthought and assumed that people would judge me.
But I have received so much love and encouragement. Maybe that will change as people actually read the book… But in this process I have seen how loved I truly am by others. Not because I can write a good book, but because I am viewed by others as being worthy of being a friend.
Truly, is there much higher honor than to be considered a friend?
I opened myself up by offering this book, and a host of friends surrounded me.
My only prayer is that I can return the type of love that has been shown to me.
A majority of the love I felt was from people who I had become friends with in-person. We had developed a relationship at church, or in a hospital, or in a gym, or at school. We had spent time together. We have had conversations, have sweat, have prayed with one another. There is a limit to the type of accessibility I am referring to in a purely online relationship. We are human, and human relationships fundamentally have a scent to them.
In a world in which social media takes hours of our attention, and AI is literally becoming the person people spend the most time talking to, do not forget to invest in physical friendships in physical spaces. Get a gym membership at a place where there are group classes like a CrossFit gym, that way you actually talk to people. Go to church, if only to be around encouraging and social people (and I pray Jesus meets you there!). Go out to eat with some friends or have people over. Open your life to someone. Invest something of yourself in someone else.
And don’t forget to say “thank you”. Thank you for loving me, and I love you back.
And it's live! Paperback and ebook versions are available now!
— Jacob Hayward (@thejacobhayward)
12:33 AM • Aug 1, 2025
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