Celebrating Fatherhood

I will never forget when Olga, my lovely wife, told me she was pregnant.

I was flooded with emotions. I was excited to know that we were blessed with even the ability to have children, as many struggle to conceive. My mind soared with dreams and hopes of what this could mean for our life together. I immediately began dreaming about what this new life might look, sound, and act like.

I was being gifted a title I had always wanted: dad.

Reflections on Being a Dad

When talking to people my age (27) and those younger than myself, the question often arises about what life with kids is like. Most people in this age group do not have kids, and the prospect of having children is daunting for many. Maybe one day, but it seems like an impossible mountain for now.

Although parenting is not easy, it has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Here are some of my reflections on how to make or keep parenting the joy it truly is. If you are not a parent, never have been, or an empty nester, realize these are still lessons that can be translated into your situation:

1. Marry the right person.

   I cannot stress enough that the key to raising kids well has to be rooted in who your partner is. Olga is a blessing to me and a fantastic mother to our two boys. It is funny looking back now that this woman who is obsessed with the best care for our kids did not even want children when we first were married. Marrying the right person is not about agreeing on everything or having the same ideas; instead, it is about the conviction that this person is someone I can become one flesh with. That this person is someone I will fulfill my promises to. Out of that conviction and love for one another, a great friendship is birthed that helps massively with parenting.

2. Let the kids teach you as much as you teach them.

   You will have many moments when you can teach your kids something. I have watched as Josiah learns from us new words, new games, how to interact with others, peeing outside, etc. But it shocked me how much I learned from them. They view the world through different eyes. Josiah is beginning to tell stories in ways I would not. They are much more present, less concerned, and much more joyful. Take the time to be genuinely in awe of kids.

3. Actively build the future.

   I love to dream about the future my kids will inherit. That said, I do not always love the problems I see they will likely have to bump into. Instead of fretting, it has convinced me that it is part of my duty as a dad to help form the world my kids are growing into. I cannot complain as I passively observe the world being created. Instead, my job is to help develop pathways so they can run farther and do more extraordinary things than I ever could.

4. Work hard, play hard.

   Work ethic is so important to model for kids. Involving them in your work is where the money is at. I have countless videos of Josiah pushing his toy mower with me as I mow the lawn, wheelbarrowing dirt as I dig, and dragging trash cans back from the curb. He just always has because he’s with us when we do it. But I also think that play is so essential. To wrestle with them. To run through the local splash pad with them. To slide with them. To be a kid with them. Never get too old to stop playing.

5. Enjoy everything.

   It is so cliche. But time with the kids goes too fast. Both my boys are still so young, but they are already significant. Josiah has these long frog legs that dangle forever when I carry him, and Micah is this stout muscle monster. Their personalities are constantly adding new features. Josiah is always learning new words, and Micah is nearly walking. It all happens fast. So enjoy reading those books for the hundredth time, because one day they won’t want you to read. Wrestle them now because one day they will beat you. Remember that kids are a miracle and a blessing we get to savor.

Quick Facts

I’m including below an infographic that quickly compiles some of the well recorded effects of a child growing up without a father. There has been much work done to analyze the outsized impact fathers have on the development of a child and the community at large.

Mothers and Fathers are essential members of a family unit, both due honor and respect. The next generation will perform it’s best under the care of both parents.